On the road.

April 1, Kingman.

Dylan is now four-and-a-half month old and a chubby happy little guy. I call him my "bibendum Michelin," after the Michelin ad character full of inflated tires.
I feel guilty that I haven't said a word about him in such a long time, when he fills my days. He's my joy, my challenge, my sun and my stars, my most important job, my everything, how could it be otherwise? I'm a new Mom.
Lately he started being difficult at nursing time, crying and refusing the breast when I know he's hungry, and I have to struggle with him for a while before he finally settles down to a normal, calm feeding. I suspect it has something to do with teething, but being a new Mom I have really no idea. The difficulty is compounded when we have to travel at night, because this is also when this strange new behavior is at its peak. It becomes a bit of a stressful wrestle, because when Fridman's truck is ready he has to leave right away, and in turn have to be ready to roll with the baby then no matter what. Furthermore Dylan seems to have settled into a routine of multiple feedings in the evening as well, so from 6 PM on or sometimes earlier it is a non-stop nursing marathon from which I emerge utterly drained. When we have to drive 150 miles afterwards I'd give anything for a life of boring normality. Then we get on the road and I wake up again listening to the BBC news announcer on the satellite radio and you couldn't make me give this up for anything in the world.
The circus is a hard place to be with a baby to care for, undeniably. Every little challenge is exacerbated, there is no comfort zone. And I've been talking a lot about all the hardships that come with this nomadic way of life, Murphy's law and all, baby or no baby. But the circus is also a place of much beauty and meaning, and above all it has enabled me to be with my partner and my baby as a family, something that until now seemed unattainable given our very different obligations. I want to thank Jim Judkins, the owner of Circus Chimera and our boss, for giving me this opportunity. Without him Fridman wouldn't wake up to his son's smile every day.
We'll be just fine, the eighth wonder of the world and I.