Here now.

January 28, Columbia.

Fridman left tonight to go back to Hugo and start the 2013 Kelly Miller Circus season without us.
It's all I can do not to cry my heart out in front of my kids.
We have been in Columbia since the end of the year, slowly, painfully moving in a new house, and I hate living in a house, all the dead space, it's a small house but there is all that space bearing down on my sudden solitude, and I'm lost.  But the kids love their school and need it badly, and so this is our new life, the three of us here, far far away from everything they've known since they were born, a city life like any other, the three of us shedding our circus selves and it's hard to be sad for long with kids for they just go on and they're happy and their Dad is leaving but they run around chasing each other and being screaming silly, but here, drive safe, I don't say I love you, and they drive off, Fridman and Marcos, our friend Marcos came over, they picked up new seat wagons in northern Missouri for the circus and stopped here on the way, our last week end together before the big plunge, the solitude of not being part of the circus ring, the big ring of trailers and people tied together for good and bad day in and day out here and tomorrow gone there, now I'm here, and they're there.