Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The rest of us.

June 19, Bangor.

Something strange happened to my eyes this morning, out of the blue, and froze me in fear.
We were driving around looking for a grocery store in the little town of Bangor when suddenly a ring of bright serrated lights appeared in my vision, slightly to the right, and wouldn't go away, like a film between my eyes and the world, the ring growing bigger and bigger and finally disappearing but leaving my right eye weak and stretched.
This is my worst fear: everything is going on as normally as it can, you get up every morning and deal with what comes the way you've always done, and then suddenly, you don't know why or how, there is something wrong with you, some disease is there in you that you didn't know even existed, or it is a too well-known one, and your life as you know it is over.  From then on you belong to the ill, the battling, that vast congregation that moves invisible among the rest of us blind jesters, bearing their suffering unsung and quiet, or sometimes a shuffle or a cough, an ambulance siren in the night, bearing on with their weight as best they can, mostly, comfortably invisible to the rest of us in our cocoon of self-confidence and lightness, our fool's paradise.
The ring had faded but left a fiery scar on my psyche.

4 comments:

No Thyme to Lose said...

It's good to see your daily posts again. Here are some links for you, but of course, self-diagnosis is prone to error.
http://www.justanswer.com/eye-health/4yfgh-quivering-serrated-ring-triangles-circling-visible.html

http://ehealthforum.com/health/bright-light-in-left-eye-t195067.html

http://www.steadyhealth.com/Bright_spot_in_my_vision_t205741.html

Valérie Berta Torales said...

Thank you so much, it is exactly what I experienced, although with none of the migraine symptoms afterward.
I've been extremely anxious (the career change and accompanying work) stressed and tired, so that might be the cause of this, and hopefully the migraines I used to have when similarly stressed by work issues won't come back again with this.
Again I can't thank you enough for this information.

Susabelle said...

Ocular migraine. I get them. Scary at first, but then you realize they pass and it's really okay. I get them when I'm stressed. Valerie, you've been really stressed!!

I used to have regular migraines but don't have those anymore, just these weird ocular ones. I sometimes can get two or three a week, but then go months without another one. If I'm driving, I pull off the road until it goes away, if I'm at work I take a walk. They pass in 20-30 minutes. Mine are sideways v-shaped ziggy line, rather than a round shape.

Valérie Berta Torales said...

Thanks, Susabelle, that makes me feel even better still, because it means it doesn't have to mean migraines.
Yes, I've been incredibly stressed, mostly self-inflicted (as usual.)
I'm going to try and take it easy til the end of the month and the start of the real craziness.
Enjoy the day, breathe, smell the flowers, practice what I preach...
Thank you both for your precious help.