October 12, Ellsberry.
After finishing reading The New Yorker over coffee this morning, "the Style Issue," replete with profiles of billionaire entrepreneurs and famous thirteen-year-old bloggers, an uneasy feeling of vague failure (albeit a fairly happy one) settled over me.
It is a familiar feeling, this feeling of failure, or rather of inadequacy, and not confined to the morning reading of The New Yorker, unfortunately. And time doesn't help it a bit, unfortunately unfortunately. It used to be that for what seemed like the longest time (forty being the new thirty) I was looking to the future, this "one day" territory where everything is possible and the sky is the limit, with trepidation, wild scenarios, and utter confidence, and then, in just a few years, that day is today (and fast threatening to be yesterday,) and all I've got to show is wrinkles and annoying gray hairs.
The familiar mid-life crisis then, how common (sigh.) And the truism of yes but you're raising the boys and isn't that enough is off the point, although it is also true, of course.
So is the opposite feeling, the joy of having come so far, seen so much, discovered that so much more was to be seen and learned, being able to enjoy each day as it comes, the perspective it brings.
I will never believe there is any more to us than this, this here and now I've finally learned to savor with grateful humility.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
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3 comments:
Val - your writing makes me smile, and think, and sometimes cry. Your photos - amazing & varied - of essentially the same subject, amaze me (the sign of a talented photographer). I admire you. And your wrinkles (which I didn't notice when I saw you recently) and your gray hairs (which I couldn't see through the fantastic blond!) Hugs. And more hugs.
Tif
Tif I love you, and I'm so happy for you (ZE news)!
And I am sooo proud of you guys with your business (and I'm sure I'll come back with a ton of questions when I open mine...) you are doing a fantastic job by all accounts.
Thank you so much for your compliments, they go right to my heart, and mean so much.
I will never believe there is any more to us than this, this here and now I've finally learned to savor with grateful humility.
I do believe that is the secret.
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