Saturday, October 02, 2010

Falling flat.

October 2, Peru.

I find it increasingly hard to write, even read, and miss it so.
It may be the kids suck more air out of the trailer space now that they are bigger and more demanding, that they take more time out of the circus day, they or anything else, even though I've been studying Buddhist philosophies once again, with their present-moment focus, a few pages a day, stopping time, or trying to, and more often than not failing, miserably, only to be sucked again by the habit of rushing through air.
I find it hard to write, witness this note, full of the sound and fury of nothingness.


Natalie Cainan said...

Oh Valerie, I am so sad to read that you're having a hard time writing and reading. I know having two toddlers is a full time job, but one day, I realized, today they are toddlers and you are the center of their universe, tomorrow they will be teenagers and will be "too cool" to hang with mom and dad. So the next time you heave a heavy sigh at picking up toys or or changing diapers, look at it this way, Joel Osteen once said, "Look at it this way, 'I GET to pick up their toys and I GET to take care of my kids.'" Look at it as an honor, because anyone can have kids, but not everyone can be a mom!! Hang in there and stop trying to stop time!!

Valérie Berta Torales said...

Thanks Nat!
I love being with the boys full-time and wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, I am their anchor and I am very proud of that!
Only wish I could cram more into one day, and live more fully in the moment, is what I meant by "stopping time."
Carpe diem, each breath the first and the last one and the only one that counts, each of their ever-changing faces there completely every time instead of in a blur so many times...
Be well.