July 24, Middlefield.
Your heart just stops.
How do you take a child' mortal illness? What kind of a god does a mother turn to? There can be no justification.
The world spins inside your skin and dissolves, and in its place there is agony. Someone called me yesterday morning, out of the blue, to tell me that Nicolas could have eye cancer; he had seen a picture of him on my blog where the pupil in one of Nicolas' eyes was white, he said that could be a sign that there was something severely wrong. He talked about eye cancer, I listened in growing disbelief, thanked him for his call. I looked up online and found that indeed the flash picture taken of Nicolas during his first birthday party, buried like a time bomb, back in April of 2008, perfectly matched the ones on the web sites dedicated to retinoblastoma.
We went to the doctor this morning and he's fine.
The world filled with color, breathing is no longer a conscious effort.
3 comments:
I am so happy!! I was so worried, but I too can sigh with relief. My best to you and yours, Fritz.
Thank you, and thank you so much for calling and letting me know.
Hope to see you next year at the circus.
I'll be there! :)
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