A tooth at the Halloween party.

October 21, El Cerrito.

A whirlwind of a day, a big milestone and a disturbing discovery, and Dylan falls asleep by himself on the couch next to me at 8:30 PM.
Today I decided to switch back to the cloth diapers I had left behind after Dylan became Mr. Wigglish. I had used them again for a time after Nicolas was born and before I joined the circus, but ended up capitulating, vaguely ashamed of myself; two babies, no washer and dryer and nowhere to hang clothes to dry, water a scarce and precious commodity were too much to handle.
And then today I read a disturbing article on all the chemicals we come in contact with in our every day life and the efforts of the U.S. administration to derail legislation by the European Union to ban most of them and tightly control the others. The article opened with a list of the chemicals used in baby stuff, from bottles to diapers. I think I must have blanched, sitting there in the trendy bookstore cafe sipping my hot chocolate for what I thought would be a peaceful reprieve from the usual hustle of the day. The article, by Mark Shapiro, is in this week's Harper's magazine; it is vastly scarier than the worst Halloween movie Hollywood could ever conjure up.
There was a Halloween party tonight at Playland, so I dressed Peanut up in his pumpkin baby suit, Dylan in his skeleton sweater, put on my flamingo outfit (all thanks to Beverly, but more on that story later) and out we trotted across the parking lot. It was there that I discovered Nicolas' first tooth.

The march of time.

October 17, El Cerrito.

I wish I could keep Dylan the way he is now. Keep him forever laughing, singing, dancing, bouncing around with me the way he does now, keep looking at him and see the way he looks now, the way he talks now, the little man he is now, impossibly adorable. But he'll grow up and be an impossibly fabulous man, and I'll just have to keep these memories sharp and warm forever. Easy enough.

To my children: my Heart Sutra.

October 2, El Cerrito.

Je suis si heureuse de vous avoir, mes enfants, mes amours. Sans vous il n'y pas de jours ni de nuits, sans vous il n'y a pas de soleil, pas de pluie, pas de musique et pas de rires, vous etes ce sourire, vous etes mon souffle, mon coeur, vous etes ma vie.

Keeping up the tradition.

September 30, El Cerrito.

Nicolas turns six months old today (the 30th will have to do as September has no 31st.) Last night we celebrated this most important "cumplemeses" with what has become the tradition in our little family of sorts: half a pie for half a year.
This one with Dylan in tow, and it was all the better for it - nothing like an almost two-year-old to beat a six-month-old for cuteness and an extra dollop of joy.